Truths, Confessions, or Whatever the Fuck this is.
First day back to school and I walked through the day like a zombie. I don’t know what the feeling was, but I’m just more unsure than ever. Whatever faith I used to have, I’ve lost them somewhere along the lines. I used to tell myself there were still people who cared, people who understood, but I can’t anymore. Even the very best of friends couldn’t lift up my mood, and it’s not even their fault. I’m too tired to make excuses and somehow people are hating me for that. Surprisingly, I couldn’t care care less.
I want to live spontaneously, I want to feel infinite. I don’t want my whole life planned out in an organized, boring, and secured way; and now I’m scared because that’s exactly where I’m headed. I want someone to open up my eyes and make me see things I never thought I could, I want someone to make everything worth it. All I want everything that I can’t have. All I have is this feeling that I’m waiting and waiting for something that won’t happen any time soon. I fucking hate this place and I don’t want to be here anymore.