It’s been almost a week now that we aren’t talking. It’s quite weird for me since you had been my source of pleasure for the past two months. There are no better words to describe how I feel other than “I miss us.” I miss your voice on the phone and how easy it was for me to talk to you. I miss those simple text messages showing me that you care, and the butterflies I feel in stomach as I read through those messages a couple times. Now its all gone. How could I read the signs so wrong? In a way, I guess I’m still holding out. It’s summer, so I’m leaving everything in between. I’m not going to go out of my way to say goodbye to you, because I don’t know how, but I’m not going to be that girl who sits around pining for you anymore. Still, I’m always up lonely at night. If you ever find yourself up in the middle of the night feeling as lonely as hell, just give me a call, okay?
I know. It’s stupid. I just talked to you yesterday, but lately you seemed so distant.I would’ve asked you what’s wrong, but I don’t think I’m in the position to do so. That’s what sucks so bad. Here I am, knowing perfectly clear how I feel about you, and how you feel about me, but I simply can’t just reach out and close the distance between us. To be honest? I’m terrified. What if you change your mind the moment I tell you how I feel? What if you changed your mind already? I don’t know a thing, except that I’ve been here waiting since I first woke up for that simple message from you. The same one I took for granted just several weeks ago. This is stupid, but I miss you all the same.
I’ve always thought I’d do fine as long as I don’t base my own happiness off of someone else. I guess I’m in too deep to follow that rule now. I can’t help but feel down when I’m alone, because I keep thinking I’m fooling myself with this feeling that you feel the same way. I light up when I hear the beep of my phone telling me there’s a message, and I hope with all I have that it’s you, missing me but disguising it with a subtle ‘what are you doing?’. It sounds pathetic, doesn’t it? It’s against everything I told myself to be. I guess I just really like you.
Ugh this is hard, because I don’t have a crush. I’m not lying either, because I do want to fall back in love. It’s just that most boys I was close to turned into guy friends, I guess I was more the band types that they joke with rather than the girly types that they choose to flirt with lol.
Anyway so that’s my story.
If you still want a picture though…